I'm learning to let go.

Monday, April 21, 2008
Photography

So I've decided that there would in fact be too much to write here right now because there is way to much going on in life right now that it would take this blog and a few more for me to cover everything! Therefore, I've decided to show some photos that I've been working on to make them more 'professional' so below are the 'before' and 'after' pics.

1. Java Cycle- Route 66, Williams,Az

2.Czech Sunset,Malenovice

3.St Vitus Cathedral,Prague.

5.Vltava River landscape,Prague.

6. Charles Bridge 7am,Prague.

I don't actually have the original file for this photo anymore before it was edited. :(

7.Crazy McKeown, September 2007

8.Its Back advert,Glasgow.

Labels: Photography

On 20:04, Rach J let go.
2 comments

Saturday, December 08, 2007
Thankful.

1. That God loves me unconditionally and is still close even when I think He's far.

2. I'm thankful that God has placed amazing people in my life who love and care for me.

3. That God sent Jesus around this time of year, who later died...but rose again. He's ALIVE!

4. That I have running hot water and heat.

5. That I woke up this morning and have been given one more day to live.

6. That God has blessed me with a family.

7. That I am part of a bigger picture and plans that exceed any of my dreams.

8. That God does not live in any church.

9. That I have the oppurtunity to be light in a world of darkness.

10. That it doesn't matter how I feel right now there is still hope for tomorrow.

On 22:29, Rach J let go.
1 comments

Thursday, November 15, 2007
Offer number one

I recieved a letter from UCAS today.

So I got an offer from Glasgow Uni to do Theology and Religious Studies on the condition I get ABB.

Scarey bickies.

Is this where you want me to go God?

Coz I'd love to go there!

On 21:40, Rach J let go.
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Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Ben Stein from USA CBS

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.

She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?" In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.

I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about.

And we said OK.Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards. Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

On 15:36, Rach J let go.
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Monday, October 15, 2007
Two Realms

I love Velvet Elvis. It has revealed so much to me and the reason it has taking me so long to read is because I read a bit and then think and meditate on it. So yesterday in church (yea, when I was meant to be listening) I read this bit.....

Two Realms.

Now if there is a life of heaven, and we can choose it, then there's also another way. A way of living out of sync with how God created us to live. The word for this is hell: a way, a place, a realm absent of how God desires things to be. We can bring heaven to earth; we can bring hell to earth.

For Jesus, heaven and hell were present realities. Ways of living we can enter into here and now. He talked very little of the life beyond this one because he understood that the life beyond this one is a continuation of the kinds of choices we maker here and now.

For Jesus, the question wasn't, how do I get into heaven? but how do I bring heaven here?

The question wasn't, how do I get in there? But how do I get there, here?

True spirituality then is not about escaping this world to some other place where we will be forever. A Christian is not someone who expects to spend forever in heaven there. A Christian is someone who anticipates spending forever here, in a new heaven that comes to earth.

The goal isn't escaping this world but making this world the kind of place God can come to. And God is remaking us into the kind of people who can do this kind of work. pg 148-149 (selected parts)

***************
ME again: So what I think it boils down to is heaven VS hell on earth. Everyday we have the choice as to whether we decide to bring heaven to earth or hell.

Everyday.

The simple things. Such as when your friends are gossiping about someone you but in and say something really positive about them. I can choose to obey my parents rather than disobey etc. Its the small and the big choices that help to advance heaven on earth rather than hell.

I think I need to start choosing to advance heaven with the small things now, so that later in life I can handle and recongise the big.

***************

T'shuva

The remaking of this world ia why Jesus' first messages began with 'T'shuva, for the kingdom has come near.'

The Hebrew word t'shuva means "to return". return to the people we were originally created to be. The people God is remaking us into.

God makes us in his image. We reflect the beauty and creativity and wonder of the God who made us. And Jesus calls us to return to our true selves. The pure, whole people God originally intended us to be, before we veered off course.

Somewhere in you is whom you were made to be.

We need you to be you.

We don't need a second anybody. We need the first you.

The problem is that the image of God is deeply scarred in each of us, and we lose trust in God's version of our story. We achieve and we push and we shop and we work out and we accomplish great things, longing to repair the image. Longing to find an identity that feels right.

Longing to be comforatable in our own skin.

But the thing we are searching for is not somewhere else. It is right here. And we can only find it when we give up the search, when we surrender, when we trust. Trust that God is already putting us back together.

Trust that through dying to the old, the new can give birth.

Trust that Jesus can repair the scarred and broken image.

It is trusting that I am loved. That I always have been. That I always will be. I don't have to do anything. I don't have to prove anything or achieve anything or accomplish one more thing. That exactly as I am, I am totally accepted, forgiven and trhere is nothing I could ever do to lose this acceptance.

God knew exactly what he was doing when he made you. There are no accidents. We need you to embrace your true identity, who you are in Christ, letting this new awareness transform your life.

That is what Jesus had in mind.

That is what brings heaven to earth.

This is our invitation. To trust that we don't owe anything. To trust that something is already been done, something has been there all along.

To trust that grace pays the bill. pg150-152.

****************

This book is truely amazing and it feels like God makes me read it when he's trying to tell me something. I mean that last section is what I'm trying to deal with right now. It blows my mind.

You gotta read it. I'm considering buying this book for so many people for Christmas!

On 16:58, Rach J let go.
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Thursday, October 11, 2007
I'm not alright.

Usually, I don't blog about what's really going on deep down inside of me. I never wear my heart on my sleeve but at the same time I'm so vunerable. I don't even really know why I'm saying any of this and I'll be shocked if I actually get this posted.

But I'm lost.

With life, people, in school work and chiefly from God.

I don't even know how to explain how I feel right now.

Numb.

I guess.

It's like I'm at the valley of a mountain and screaming at the top of my lungs but sound isn't actually coming out.

There are so many thoughts flying around my head and I can't stop them. I haven't been able to stop them since Czech.

I feel even more screwed up since I've been to Czech. Coz before hand I did such a great job of hiding everything and putting things out of my mind but now I don't seem to be able to.

Each time I get hit with something else that brings me down I run the opposite direction from God's arms.

But I just don't even understand why he's there with open arms!? I mean he sees my actions and knows all my thoughts so why is he still there and still wanting to help?!? I really feel like my grip on God's hand is slipping and I kinda feel like letting go.

But a part of me is saying no you can't. Do you really think life will be better without God in your life?

I just don't know anymore.

Today I was reminded of this sweet ass song though.....

V1 If weakness is a wound
That no-one wants to speak of
Then cool is just how far we have to fall
And I am not immune;
I only wanna be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall
Can I loose my need to impress?
If you want the truth- I need to confess

* CHORUS
I'm not alright,
I'm broken inside, broken inside;
And all I go through,
it leads me to You
It leads me to You

V2 Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Till everything to hide behind is gone
When I'm open wide
With nothing left to cling to
Only You are there to lead me on
Cause honestly, I'm not that strong

And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved (closer to you)
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved (closer to you)
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved (closer to you)
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved I'm not alright,

I'm broken inside,
broken inside
Ohhhhhhhh broken inside, broken inside;

And all I go through, it leads me to You
It leads me to You I'm not alright, I'm not alright, I'm not alright
That's why I need you.

On 17:09, Rach J let go.
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Saturday, October 06, 2007
Roma

Rome was pretty awesome. There was a lot of good bant to be had and I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much if it had not been for the people I was with. But I do have to say I was disappointed with Rome, it didn't live up to my expectations. It's quite dirty, the italian men well are completely sleezey, the food on a whole was pretty awful, the traffic is scarey and nothing is in one place. I mean there is no actual center or square everything is spread out. Which meant we walked on average 13 miles a day. The trip felt so long when in actual fact it was only 3 days long. God revealed a lot to me particularly on the plane ride over, I was reading Velvet Elvis and boy, its such good stuff. Thats why it's taking me so long to read. But I felt the need to share it with someone and so that night I was talking to my friend Helen,who I had planned to read it to. Then our two other room mates came back from hanging in other people's rooms and I said 'O you're just in time for a little story.' Our teachers then later came in and I said 'aww you're just in time for a bed time story.' And she asked 'What's it about?' And I was like 'Em-Salvation.' She laughed. And then in the morning asked how my sermon went! But it became our little tradition and I read to them every night before we went to sleep. Random. LoL!

But I took a lot of photos...although a lot of them didn't really turn out very well coz we didn't have a lot of time to stop and take what I would call 'proper' photos. So here a few of the best ones....

Termini Station...right across from our hotel